fields of paradise

when shadows die/I am a ghost/wandering through airport security/sitting on the plane/wondering if the sky is also a river/and when I land/if this will be paradise/this is us/staring blankly through the window/trapped /sometimes I hate airplanes/and the thought of flying while I remain still/upsets me in the quiet/uncontrollable way that living is/that wound on my soul is/torn like my clothes when we fight/I wish I never knew what it feels like to fly/and leave what could have been/all behind