Author Archives: Alex J.J

i always wondered why you believedi would come to hate youand here i ama bitter blackness slippingdown my throat.you know coffee kills my stomachbut i don’t hate coffee.it isn’t the pain that makes me grimaceor the shit that comes out an hour lateri love the smell of coffeehow you wake me in the morningwithout tryingwithoutContinue reading “coffee sick”

pull your curtainsso you can stargaze all day long,under those plastic stars and maybe they will mesmerize youso you can forget for a secondterrible thoughts under a starburst green glow

you would trace a square windowon the back of my heart and i would see the beauty in my emptiness other than sickness &colgate toothpaste white clouds are realI say in a black room. Chicago grows colder in Octoberand the leaves rot sweetly with coffeebeneath my feetWho was it that said love is a season?IContinue reading “in my dreamscape”

snow perched on the slanted roofs,peel awayas though you are smokefrom the end of his cigarette a burning suna set of red eyesglued to the pavement and conjoinedby the hip with the front of a car a thousand miles awaya glance in your direction smile like it’s a 2000s movieand happy exists. snow perched onContinue reading “afar”

I already knew the peonies were out of season but I picked them up anyways.At the end of our summer. They died in my garden. I was the gardener gloves soaked with water. I knew a cup was enough,but the rainbows were beautiful please stay, I whispered. Shivering,ankle deep in tears.

with the elbow in the ribcageI think of you and bruise gently. It’s a bit dark. colour me your favoritepurple and strike me quiet; blue morning blooming like a bomb in this bedroomshelter mewith a spark from a lighteryou listen tofor the third timeto a poem that sounds likea grocery list many months old. IContinue reading “oh”

I don’t know if I want to see you this yearI think I’m going to cry a shit tonwhen I walk by the stores, smell the swiss miss,hear the choir, and see all that I amwithout these and these feelings I keep throwing at the walls in my apartment like that art style trending onContinue reading “Dear Christmas”

I could give you the skylay all the blue bruises in your eyesdown on a shoreline like seashells and count the sand forever until you feel a little better and the sunshine you love becomes a drive through autumn trees along a winding road through North Havenand maybe you’ll hear how much I love yourContinue reading “If you let me”

I tell them you were noticeable the way the weight of a necklace wornfor the first time is noticable. I tell them I love you in the dark

sometimes the air in my lungsdisappearsthe way the secondswhen you glance awayfrom May disappears and the smell of books & coffee ties melike the twine wrapped around a gift I never gave you,starry space and quiet sky do your bones strainunder the weight of my arms? Are we lying about our comfort?